Monday, July 27, 2015

Quote | Embrace it all

"I now know myself to be a person of weakness and strength, liability and giftedness, darkness and light. I now know that to be whole means to reject none of it but to embrace all of it. Some may say that this embrace is narcissistic, an obsession with self at the expense of others, but that is not how I experience it. When I ignored my own truth on behalf of a distorted ego and ethic, I led a false life that caused others pain—for which I can only ask forgiveness. When I started attending to my own truth, more of that truth became available in my work and my relationships. I now know that anything one can do on behalf of true self is done ultimately in the service of others."
-Parker Palmer

Wednesday, July 8, 2015

Quote | Ina Garten

Wonderful encouragement from Ina Garten (aka: The Barefoot Contessa) in this article by Forbes. 


“Do what you love. If it’s fun, you’ll be really good at it. And don’t worry so much.”

YES, I'll go ahead and do that Ina. Thank you! 

Tuesday, July 7, 2015

Quote | Response to a Call

Contemplation is the response to a call: a call from [the one] who has no voice, and yet who speaks in everything that is, and who, most of all, speaks in the depths of our own being: for we ourselves are words of his…. Contemplation is this echo. It is a deep resonance in the inmost center of our spirit in which our very life loses its separate voice and re-sounds with the majesty and the mercy of the Hidden and Living One.

Thomas Merton

Thursday, May 21, 2015

Want To, Need To | Issue 1


I'm one of those people who have at least 30 tabs open at a given time. It's annoying!

The intentions are good: "This looks like a really thoughtful post about hope...Oh, that looks really easy and tasty!" 

But the action is poor: Case in point (this is just one of many)




I'm trying something new here. It's my Want To, Need To list. I'll post it every time my tabs get too plentiful. (Translation: it's going to be sporadic)

To read

To make

To explore
To buy

Monday, May 18, 2015

1:15pm MSO to LAX / Why I'm not taking my flight today

At 1:15pm, I have an all-expense paid trip to LA for the final round before getting accepted to go on an extreme reality TV show...and I'm not going to take it. Instead, I'm going to sip my coffee and sit in front of my computer. 

A few months ago, I was approached by this primitive survival show. They asked if I'd be interested in pursuing it and I shut it down pretty quickly. "No way, I don't really have any primitive survival skills...It's too much exposure." (Nudity would be involved.) But there was a part of the offer that kept tickling me.

Then I synchronistically met Trenton and got a burst of energy around the show. He's a survivalist and teacher, and I thought, "This was meant to be!" This newfound energy lead to reinitiating the process with the casting company and learning the skills I'd need to prepare for something new and epic! Trenton taught me how to make fire using a bow drill! And build a shelter! -- all out of nothing but the resources around me in the woods. I was stoked to successfully learn skills that always felt elusive and mysterious, and secretly grew in excitement about the potential to have my moment in the public eye. (aka: Becoming famous!)
Tools used for some backyard fire shenanigans. 
My first solo primitive friction fire.
This is a lean-to primitive shelter. It's not complete in this picture, but getting there.


















































































Two major things were driving my pursuit of this show:
1. I've wanted to be famous ever since reality shows became a thing during my lifetime. From American Gladiators to Kelly Clarkson to YouTube sensations...it seems like so many people make it big and live some glamorous spotlight life. (K, I'm not sure the American Gladiators are living it up per say, but I loved that show as a kid and felt compelled to mention them!) And as much as I know about how fame does not equal being truly known....fame was/is still my siren's call. I'd even dare to say that Millenials are just needy in this way.

2. I am like a moth to a flame and my flame is literally anything new, exciting, and adventurous. It gets me almost every time. I love this part of me because I've lived the life I have and am now here in Montana because of this curiosity, this insatiable part that needs to explore. So this primitive survival challenge was incredibly enticing. "I mean, when would I ever get a chance to do something as extreme as this?!" I wanted to know badly what would happen if I took on this challenge. This desire to know, to experience, to go and try is unbelievably strong inside of me. 

The desire for fame isn't a great reason to go do something, but that desire to try new things is good, isn't it? So why not go for it?

I mean, I still have some time before I could catch my flight. And believe me, I'm tempted...even if just for a new experience of going through the final stages of casting. But deeper than my desire for new experiences is this desire to focus and be right here.

In an age of major FOMO (Fear of Missing Out) and what seems like the perfect adventurous life publicized on Instagram, I can feel a bounding desire to have a grander and more epic life. But why? Because what I have isn't good enough? Sometimes my actions can convey that. 

So I'm here in my home office on this beautiful and windy morning, drinking the delicious coffee I make myself every morning, after a workout I have every Monday morning, looking at the computer screen I look at almost every day....choosing this moment. As hard as it is to imagine me flying to LA for an entirely new experience, I'm choosing this one. As mundane as it may seem in contrast to the path I just said no to, I'm choosing to feel content today, to feel grateful for what I have, and to remember that I don't need that new exciting "toy" - if you will - to have a satisfying well-lived life.

I'm choosing this:


Thursday, April 30, 2015

Old Favs, New Music

I've been feeling a little deprived of new music where I feel that heart-leaping connection. It's a rare gift to find. This week, I've noticed some of my old favs released some new music. Very nice.

William Fitzsimmons - I Had To Carry her (Virginia's Song)


Gregory Alan Isakov - All Shades of Blue


Jose Gonzalez - Every Age
Third song in his NPR Tiny Desk Concert
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